It's Just For Today

I am struggling to find the words to explain what's going on with me.

I'm seeing my world in poetic fragments today. So I'll just tell you what I see.

I like that field. It's gold. Golden. Golden like Gar. When the sky is blue, just above the golden waves, it looks like the hills go on forever. Like the Golden stalks shine pillars that fill the space between the dirt and the sky. Not today. The sky is gray today. The field ends. It's just a field. And the sky is so far. So far away.

Her grave is covered in leaves. I uncover it. I pull out weeds. I go to pull out the grass that is starting to grow there too. I stop. I guess I want it there someday. Someday there will be grass covering her grave. Someday. Today it is just dirt.

My key still fits.

Hello. Hello nothing. I thought I was done with you. Christmas eve, one year ago You took over my world. No hope. There was no relief from you, in living. No relief in dying. Only option was in disappearing. I hadn't the power to do that. All I could do was keep breathing. All I could do was keep breathing. Today there is relief in living. But you're still here, nothing. Nothing. Nothing is close. Let me fill you. I don't have much. You must be cold. Have my memories. Wrap them around you. No, wait, give them back. I don't have enough for us both. Not enough to fill you. Nothing you'll stay for now. Nothing, Tell me about yourself. Why are you here? When will you leave? When will you change? When will I have enough? Nothing.

There is another friend I miss a lot. We have a song. Gone Gone Gone by Phillip Phillips. Yeah. What he says. A day in Heaven seems so far away. I wish you could write back when I write. I miss our frogs. Someone check on them? Make sure the lighter and smaller one is safe. Please.

It's just one day.

You'll see.